my husband, the hater

we were in the car heading home.

me:  i think i lost a little bit of weight again.

jay:  how much did you lose?

me:  oh, i don't know.  i can just tell by my jeans.  they're a little loose again.

jay:  i don't understand how you do that.  you eat all you want.  you eat a lot of sweets like cakes and pastries and ice cream.  but you don't gain any weight, and you can lose a few pounds really easily.  if i ate like you, i'd be huge!

me:  are you hating me?  are you hating your wife, honey, because i have a quick metabolism?

jay:  i guess.

me:  (thinks for a moment) well ... at least you have clear skin.  i don't.

jay:  (a bit of relief in his voice) yeah, that's true.

me:  so now we're even.